i recently broke up and my boyfriend sms'ed me with a break up messege!! my first reaction was wow he is really stupid and i was drunk the whole time! :( :O what the hell was i thinking!
yet somehow i dont feel that intensified sad or have those pangs of crying! :/ i had a conversation with my best bud and she said that u were mentally prepared for it dats y. u also knew that it wont work btwn u both ! and damn she ws right nd inside i felt that it was true coz subconciously i was prepared for it. :x
but as i sit back nd go thru my memories about all my relationships i just feel and see a pattern coming of dating the wrong -seriously wrong type of guyz. no doubt i was child too but then those guyz werent adult as such. i see a my relations as ground of emotional dependencies.. nd now this pattern i am understanding! i reallly have to modify myself!
and now this phase or stage of life has begun where i am currently focusing on myself to enhance grow learn enrich flourish myself. i know it will be difficult but a very beautiful phase of my life and i am looking fwd to it. i dont need any guy to tell me my worth and make me feel good. my self respect shud be made by me and not by someone's tantrums and moods and behaviours.
my teacher of grapho quoted that to be selfless u have to be SELF. u need to have self to care for someone else. true it is.
And now i look forward to this phase of my life. :) :) :)
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